Grand Torino

Today I had the day off and watched the movie Grand Torino.

As I watched the movie (which is Rated R) I began to draw a spiritual lesson from it. I did not start out my day to come up with a sermon illustration or devotion point....but there It was.

It is the story of an old soldier (Walt), who hates what his world has become. He is grumpy. He is a bigot. He is a widower. He is basically pissed at how things have become.

He is pursued by people who care for him before he cares for them. His priest goes after him non stop. His neighbors who are Hmongs go after him. They reach out to him to care for him. He does everything he can to offend his priest and his Hmong neighbors.

He sees his Hmong neighbors being hurt. Walt gets his rifle he carried in the Korean War and stands up for them. He begins to have a crack in that hard exterior and starts to care for them in his own way. As the story goes on his new found friends are hurt further. They are unable to stand up for them selves.

Walt decides he must stand in the gap for those who can not defend themselves. He goes to his priest who has never given up on him and seeks comfort. Walt then goes and gives his life to protect the weak.

St. James wrote that pure religion in the sight of God is to defend those who can not defend themselves (my paraphrase).

I think as Christ followers we have to be the people that pursue the Walt's in our lives. We also need to be the Walt's who lay down their lives to help those who can not help them selves.

Christmas

I love what Christmas means. The incarnation of God. The birth of Jesus. The God-Man prophesied about made real.

I hate the business, expense, non-sense, commercialism and greed.

This year I want to go to a Mid-Night Mass. I have never been to one, but I want to experience one.

Hold Me

Just when you think you have something beat. It comes back.

I hate myself sometimes. I hate that I struggle with lust and drinking. I hate that sometimes I want to get sloshed until I can not feel my face. I hate that I find myself lusting over women who are not my wife.

But they are still there. Today I went and played golf. I loved it. I was really craving a cold beer. I saw the beer cart start my way. The struggle in me began until I almost wanted to puke. All of a sudden she turned and went a different way. I was glad and mad at the same time.

As I was telling Liz latter of my failure and struggle she asked was it around 12:45? I told her yes. She said she got a message that she was being prayed for at that time. She told this friend she did not know if it what it was for. I began to weep.

God loves me. Also, God likes me.

God help me to stay pure and sober. Forgive me for my failures and short comings. Help me to remember that you love me furiously. Thank you for letting me run to you and be held.

I am tired

I have just about worked in to a frazzle. I am tired and exhausted to the point where I forget things.

I have to find the balance of when to stop and when to keep going.

I love what I do.

I got to eat lunch with a pastor friend today who is a wonderful man. He inspires me to be a better person. (Thank you James)

As I sit here rambling on I am listening to Brennan Manning. I love his guy. He has help me to learn that not only does God Love me, he actually likes me.

Short note - but wanted to put it down.

Reflection

Brennan Manning has a way to make me look at myself and my walk. Brennan Manning tried all sorts of things to try and make God Love him. He finally discovered that God has a furious love for him, they way he was.

I am learning that lesson. I am learning that Abba is mine, and I am His. I belong to Abba. He desires me.

I have thought of going and doing for God, to have God love me more....but I dont have to do those things. God loves me like I am. He loves me with my scars, imperfections, weaknesses and sins.

I belong to Abba, He loves me.

I have returned

I have been asked about blogging again.

I had given it up for a while after I got in a bit of trouble. No I will not write on here what it was. Just know that what I did will not happen again.

The last couple of days have been really cool. I got to have lunch with two couples from Rose Heights. They are dear friends who have always been special to Liz and I. I told them that being around them makes me miss pastoring.

I do want to pastor again as I have said. I still have a vision of working with a small rural church in a bi-vocational setting. Will see how that works out. I will leave it to God.

Today in my Sunday school class our Executive Pastor Fritz Hager came by...no pressure. I got to talk to him a few minutes. Seems like a very cool guy. He is a West Point Grad. I need to swap book stories with him. He has done and lived things I have only read about.

Well off to bed. I am finishing a book by Nelson Demille then I have a new (new to me) book by Brennan Manning I am going to read.

Well it has happened

I got a letter today from the Administrative Bishop of Texas. Since I am violating my "Ministerial Covenant" by not tithing at a church of God and attending the nearest Church of God..." he "must take action regarding the revocation of your ministry...."

I thought the wording was interesting.

I have met with the Sr. Pastor at Bethel. I am still credentialed with them.

I have not ill feelings towards the church of God. I hope that millions of souls are saved and churches are planted all over the world by the work they do.

I will continue to be obedient to what I believe God has called me to do.

Father I trust you. I surrender to your will.

The Wisdom of Tenderness

Brennan Manning is one of my favorite people. Like me he has struggled with some things. His cost him his priesthood. He was able to recover and continue serving God.

His book I am reading now is called the Wisdom of Tenderness. There is a quote in it that really blew me away.

"It's more important to be a mature Christian than to be a great butcher or baker or candlestick-maker; and if the only chance to achieve the first is to fail at the second, the failure will have proved worthwhile. Isn't failure worthwhile if it teaches us to be gentle with the failure of others, to be patient, to live in the wisdom of accepted tenderness, and to pass that tenderness on to others? If we're always successful, we may get so wrapped up in our own victories that we're insensitive to the anguish of others; we may fail to understand (or even try to understand) the human heart; we may think of success as our due. Then later, if our little world collapses through death or disaster, we have no inner resources."

Think on that a while.....

Flash Back

Got to hang out with some dear friends today. Bro Peterson who let me preach at his church when I was in Seminary and his wife Linda, daughter Kristi and her two girl Kimmer and Kinsey came over from Corsicanna. We hung out at Chik Fil A and visited for 3 hours or more. It was great.

We covered a world of topics. Shared memories and laughs. It was awesome.

God is so good that He allows good friends to fellowship and share. It is what the church should look like. Believers building each other up. Believers united by the Holy Spirit.

Stay close to your friends in the faith. Share time with each other with no agenda. No lights, sound, smoke machines, just life.

Raising its ugly head

Well,

My nemesis is back, or at least it reminded me it is there. My big two. I guess the stress and worry of dad and other things has stirred them up. I don't like seeing my daddy sick.

No, nothing has happened. I have not drank. I have not strayed. But the thoughts and temptations are there.

One way to explain it is to quote Jeff Foxworthy..."I want a beer, and I want to see something naked."

I have been reading more from Mother Theresa. I am reading about worshiping in silence and reflection. It helps.

Driving home today I listened to Jimmy Swaggart on a Palestine radio station. Hearing him sing and play helps.

I look forward to church tomorrow. It helps.

They Name is as ointment

Thy name is as ointment poured forth:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Thy name is as ointment poured forth,
Thy name is as ointment poured forth.

Therefore do the virgins love Thee:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Therefore do the virgins love Thee,
Therefore do the virgins love Thee.

Thy love is much better than wine:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Thy love is much better than wine,
Thy love is much better than wine.

Draw me, we will run after Thee:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Draw me, we will run after Thee,
Draw me, we will run after Thee.

Behold, Thou art fair, my Beloved:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Behold, Thou art fair, my Beloved,
Behold, Thou art fair, my Beloved.

I found Him whom my soul doth love:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
I found Him whom my soul doth love,
I found Him whom my soul doth love.

I held Him and would not let go:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
I held Him and would not let go,
I held Him and would not let go.

Make haste, my Beloved, to come:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Make haste, my Beloved, to come,
Make haste, my Beloved, to come.

We love Thee with all of our heart:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
We love Thee with all of our heart,
We love Thee with all of our heart.

Black Snake Moan

Yes I have seen the movie....a couple of times.....Why do I write about it?

Think of the character Lazarus. A black man in the south. Finds a half naked white girl dumped near his house. He picks her up and takes her inside. He cleans her up. Bandages her wounds. Goes and gets medicine for her. Watches over her for days. She continues to wonder off in a drug induced haze, so he chains her to the radiator. He learns more about her from different people. That she is a party girl, will sleep with anyone any where. During this Lazarus is reading his bible. The girl wakes up and wants to leave. He tells her that he is going to cure her of her wicked ways. Well lets say she is not to thrilled with the idea. Lazarus says over and over that is has made up his mind and will not be moved.

Here is a guy with every excuse not to get involved. Every reason to walk away. Trying to help someone who does not want it or appreciate it. She does everything to get away from him. But he has made up his mind....and he will not be moved.

It is easy to do good those who are like us. It is even easier when they appreciate it and say thank you.

But how hard do we work to do for those who will never appreciate it. Are we willing to risk our lives, our reputation, our appearance to our community and what "looks right."

What if the thing we see and are moved to get involved with "offends" those who pay the bills?

Willing to risk it?

Dad

My dad has another health thing going on. He has been going to an oncologist. They have done a biopsy of his bones and his marrow to test for cancer. He is over producing iron or something and they are having to "bleed" him every week. I did not know they still did this sort of thing. Sounds like something out of Dr. Quin Medicine Woman.

Another scary chapter.

Lessons from Dad

Today started off to be a great day. We got up and went to Bethel. We had great time in Sunday School. Church was wonderful. We left church and went to Lowes. Everyone was happy. We bought some flowers. We walked over to the hot dog stand and all got a sausage and a hot dog.

We got home and King did not meet us at the gate. We called him and he did not respond. Walking into the back yard King started to stagger over. He stopped to pee. He was peeing blood. He was not acting like himself. I had a treat for him. King loves and lives for snausages. I held it out for him and he paid no attention to it. We broke up a piece of it and he took it and dropped it. I went to the phone and was trying to get a hold of our vet. He was not available so we called the emergency clinic. They said to bring him in. I got his leash and led him to the yard.

I told the kids to talk to him while I got the car ready. I figured they would put him to sleep. He is old and had a couple of health issues. We got a blanket for him. King then laid down on the side walk. He laid his head over on Savannah's lap. He was having trouble breathing. He then just stopped breathing. We held him and cried. We talked to him and petted him as his heart stopped. We wept in the yard.

After a few moments I knew I had to do dad duty. I had to do what I saw my father do. I had to bury our pet. I went over and cleared the back of my truck. Sarah gave me a blanket of hers to wrap him in. I picked up our doggy and put him in the back of the truck. The kids and Liz came over and kissed him and told him how much they loved him.

I drove to Troup to my father in laws farm to bury our dog. I cried the whole way. I never knew the emotion that would go in to this. This is not something they tell you in "dad school". I saw dad do it, and now I am the dad. As I was doing this I remembered the first time one of my pets died. It was Tom the cat. He was a black and white cat. I even took him to school one day for show and tell. He died when I was about 8 or 9. Dad picked him up and put him a box. We went out behind his shop and dug a hold. I had wrapped him up. Dad placed him in the whole and put the box over him and covered the hole. This was so many years ago and I can still take you to the spot where we buried him.

Part of our family died today. To some this is silly, but we loved this dog. He was the dog that helped Sarah get over her fear of dogs. He protected our kids. He loved to chase cats. He would bark at strangers. He never wondered off. If the gate was ever left opened he just walked to the front door and sat there. That is where the treats are.

RIP King. Find Tom the Cat in heaven and chase him. Role on the streets of gold. Ask Saint Peter for a treat. Take a drink from the River of Life that flows from the throne. We will see you someday.

My Sins, My Sins My Savior

What an Easter. My first in several years where I was not a pastor. Many emotions. While at Wal-mart today I pondered or more closely, was ambushed by my sinful nature. That thing that I so wanted to be gone from me. That thorn, that chain, that thing.....Actually there are two of them. One often used to mask or as an excuse for the other. Sometimes they work together. Sometimes they work alone. Sometimes one will disappear for a while and I think "finally, it is gone." But there it is.

The last several years in full time ministry I could not tell anyone about them. I had to pretend they are not there. Early on I tried to mention it as an aid to someone and was told to never tell anyone about it. You cant be in ministry if you have that thing. Even if you have this thing, tell no one. I have even asked other ministers about this. One even told me that if he knew that one of his staff had one of these problems he could not allow them to work as a minister. "It would just look bad" is what he said.

Any idea how lonely it can be to walk around day after day, year after year and not be able to openly ask someone to pray for you about your thing? (except my wife, who knows all and knows everything...thank God for her.)

The night before my final Sunday at Rose Heights I stayed up most the night reading the biography of Rich Mullins. What release he felt when he could admit publicly that he struggled with a specific sin. He feared rejection, and was by some. But most embraced him and loved him.

So what are my two things that I have following me around? Drinking and Lust. So before I explain, I have not taken a drink in almost 10 years. I have never cheated on my wife. I have not had an affair. I am not hooked on porn.

But often, like today, I have to pray though and fight lustful thoughts. They happen at the most inconvenient time. Often times I literally have to get up and leave where I am so I can pray that God will deliver me. I go and tell my wife, the only person I have been able to tell, that I am battling this thing called lust.

About the drinking? There are times when the craving and desire so over comes me I wind up in tears. I want to just simply get tore up. I want to get a 12 pack and drink every bit of it until I cant feel my face. It is really bad when you are out of town and "no one would know" and the stuff is all over the place.....Some times the battle leaves me bruised. By the Grace my God, I have not given in. But I must admit, it is not easy. I have been at weddings where there is drinking, I smell it and I want it. But I cant do it. I have had to get in the car and just leave.

Do I think drinking alcohol is wrong in and of it self? No. But for me it is. I know that if I go down that road, there is no good that can come from it. I know people that can have a beer or a margarita and that be it. Me? I want the whole pitcher. I want every drop I can get.

I know there will be repercussions from writing this. Some will use it as an excuse to reject me and write me off. I cant help that. But maybe this will help someone. I leave that to God.

Below is the words to an old him I sang to myself in Wal-mart today.

John S. B. Mon­sell, Hymns of Love and Praise, 1863.

My sins, my sins, my Savior!
They take such hold on me,
I am not able to look up,
Save only, Christ, on Thee;
In Thee is all forgiveness,
In Thee abundant grace,
My shadow and my sunshine
The brightness of Thy face.

My sins, my sins, my Savior!
How sad on Thee they fall;
Seen through Thy gentle patience,
I tenfold feel them all;
I know they are forgiven,
But still, their pain to me
Is all the grief and anguish
They laid, my Lord, on Thee.


My sins, my sins, my Savior!
Their guilt I never knew
Till with Thee in the desert
I near Thy passion drew;
Till with Thee in the garden
I heard Thy pleading prayer,
And saw the sweat-drops bloody
That told Thy sorrow there.

Therefore my songs, my Savior,
E’en in this time of woe,
Shall tell of all Thy goodness
To suff’ring man below;
Thy goodness and Thy favor,
Whose presence from above
Rejoice those hearts, my Savior,
That live in Thee and love.

Home Town Hero

I went to visit a hero today. He has pastored in my home town for I guess 30 years. He has worked bi-vocational for many years as a chaplain as well. He is in the hospital, but PTL he is going home today.

He is a faithful man. He has faithfully cared for the small flock that God has given him. The church he pastor's probably has never been over 100. Maybe higher. But he has cared for them. He has loved them, married them, buried them and gone through life with them as well.

Pray for him.

Waiting

I don't do well at this. I know patience is a fruit of the spirit. It is something I have had to always work on. If I have some thing to do, I do it. Maybe I am just OCD. I like to be busy, knowing what is expected and then do it. But sitting around waiting on someone else and not knowing what the outcome will be, well honestly it drives me nuts.

ARGH!!!!!!! God help me to not go nuts. Help me to display the fruit of the spirit. Real fruit that has taken time to grow and is plucked in the proper season.

BTW - the doves sang me to sleep last night. (Zephahiah 3:16-20)

On the Wings of a Dove

On the wings of a snow white Dove, God sends His pure sweet love, a sign from above,,,,on the wings of a dove.

Catholic Stuff

Yesterday I went to Mother Frances to visit a new born baby. As I was leaving I felt the Lord leading me to go to the Chapel and pray. I have learned and am learning to obey. The chapel at TMF is beautiful. If you have never visited it, it is pretty. I have counseled folks before there. I have spent other times in prayer there.

While there I picked up a tract about the Rosary. I found it interesting because it explained "praying the rosary." I found it an interesting way to teach people to pray and to teach the fundamentals of the faith. Of course I don't pray to Mary nor do I think one should. I don't disrespect Mary, I think we should obey her and "do what ever he tells us" as she told the wedding party at Cana.

As I looked over the tract, I like the way it explains the mysteries. I also appreciated the art work in the tract that explained the Gospel Message.

I think in the protestant church we have lost some of the mystery of our faith. We rely less on the arts and being comfortable with the unknown. I think we should allow God to give us wonder. We should be wowed by what he does. I think we should be able to express that in the arts and with poetry.

Just some rambling thoughts....

TV Preachers

Maybe I am just jaded. I sometimes flip through TBN and INSP and these channels sort of tick me off. I think of all the money they fleece people for just so they can be on TV. How much can they really be accomplishing for the kingdom? All the money that is spent to have make up, costumes, lights, sound and just the air time.....Everyone is on the air begging for money.

It just makes me sick to see money wasted. These word of faith guys that get on the air and lie, and abuse the word of God just to get money. They don't care about the people. Having been around these "diva" types just makes me sick.

I know that God is not blind to this sort of thing. I know that God will judge in the end. I know they will answer in the end.

But I can not help but think of those who get missed. Of those who could have been reached. What could have been done for the kingdom with that money? Instead of buying airplanes, big cars, diamonds, fancy suits and all sorts of other junk, what if we put that money in the kingdom? What if we used that money to help the poor? What if we fed the hungry? What if we could build churches? What if we could help missionaries stay on the field and not have to spend their time raising money?

What if?

Something to Think About!

Do you wish to honour the body of Christ? Do not ignore Him when he is naked.

Do not pay Him homage in the temple clad in silk, only then to neglect Him outside where He is cold and ill-clad.

What good is it if the Eucharistic table is overloaded with golden chalices when your brother is dying of hunger?

Start by satisfying His hunger and then with what is left you may adorn the altar.

John of Chrysostom a.k.a. John of the Golden Mouth.

Your thoughts??

Where did the month go?

I cant believe that the month of February is flying by. MARCH is right around the corner. Good grief what is up with that.

Who knows what exciting fun filled adventures await us in MARCH, which is NEXT week.....

UFC

I love watching Ultimate Fighting. Part of me day dreams of being a cage fighter. But then I feel the arthritis in my shoulders and back and I get over it pretty quick.

I see myself as a cross between Chuck Liddell and Uriah Faber.

Three Simple Rules

I have been reading a lot about John Wesley since the fall. When I was in California I purchased a little book called Three Simple Rules: A Wesleyan Way of Living by Rueben P. Job.

It is very small but very profound.

Here are the three rules:

1. Do No Harm.
2. Do Good.
3. Stay in Love With God

In the back of the book is a prayer guide.

I am very challenged with this.

The Doves

I was having a rough day. Lots of emotions running too and fro. As I pulled into my driveway and I saw the doves again. They were sitting in my rock garden. They sat their even as I pulled in the drive and parked.

I felt comfort of God. I felt the presence of God. I felt the peace of God. I felt the promise of God.

Thank you Jesus.

Doves

This afternoon I was sitting in my front yard reading my bible. I looked up in a tree across the street and I saw two doves. They were beautiful. As I sat watching them I began to reflect on doves in the Bible.

I thought of the passage in Genesis where the dove brought back the twig to Noah. Showing Noah that hope was near.

In Genesis 15 during the covenant agreement with Abraham, God instructed Abraham to have a Dove, left whole, beside the sacrifice.

In the baptism of Jesus, a dove was used to describe the falling of the Holy Spirit.

Here God has used them to show hope, promise and His presence. As I reflect this season of life these two doves brought me comfort. They showed me that there is hope, that His promises will be fulfilled and He will be with me.

Dont Let Me Peek

We are to walk by faith and not by sight. I believe it. I teach it. Lord Help me live it. Help me not peak and to continue by faith. The stuff I "see" the stuff I think I control, is scary.

I have read Psalm 37 a lot over the last week or so. I find its words so helpful. I have looked at it in multiple translations. Each one is beautiful and helpful.

Father Keep Your Hands Over My Eyes. Direct my steps. Guide my hands. Calm my fears. Settle my stomach.

I love you Lion of Judah.

Book Report

I have been reading another great book. It is called Dirty Word - The Vulgar Offensive Language of the Kingdom of God - by Jim Walker.

This is one of those books that really kicks me around and makes me think. It makes me think about the way we do church and ministry. I like people that make me think.

In the book is a passage from a book by one of my hero's, Dietrich Bonhoeffer. In his book Life Together, he has a quote:

"God hates visionary dreaming; it makes the dreamer proud and pretentious. The man who fashions a visionary idea of community demands that it be realized by God, by others, and by himself. He enters the community of Christians with his demands, sets up his own laws, and judges the brethren and God Himself accordingly. He stands adamant, a living reproach to all others in the circle of brethren. He acts as if he is the creator of the Christian community, as if his dream binds men together. When things do not go his way, he calls the effort a failure. When his ideal picture is destroyed, he see the community going to smash. So he becomes first a rejecter of his brethren, then a rejecter of God, and finally the despairing rejecter of himself."

Walker uses this in talking about building community. He ask the question, "How do we conjure up authentic Christian community? We don't. Because frankly we cant. He says that it happens naturally. It happens when we are surrendered and humbled. Koinonia will take place naturally.

Challenging.

Poverty

I have been thinking over the words of Jason Upton in his song: Power in Poverty. They are so profound. I want to weep every time I think of them. We chase and chase big, shiny and new. We chase the cutting edge, but what about the poor. A Catholic Priest I heard once really challenged me to invest in the bellies of the poor. We need them. We can never end poverty. Therefore, we always have something to do.

Power in Poverty – Jason Upton

There's a power in poverty that breaks principalities
And brings the authority's down to their knees
There's a brewing frustration and ageless temptation
To fight for control by some manipulation

But the God of the kingdoms and the God of the Nations
The God of creation sends his revelation
Thru the homeless and penniless Jesus the son
The poor will inherit the Kingdom to come

Where will we turn when our world falls apart
And all of the treasures we've stored in our barns
Can't buy the Kingdom of God?

Who will we praise when we've praised all our lives
Men who build Kingdoms and men who build fame?
But heaven does not know their names?

What will we fear when all that remains
Is God on His throne, with a child in his arms, and love in his eyes
And the sound of his heart cries

What a Day

The last 24 hours has been odd. I was called to the hospital to be with a family. The husband had been diagnosed with an aggressive type of Leukemia. He had been fine, started feeling bad, went to the hospital and was admitted. He progressively got worse and worse. By 2 am, he was dead. I have never seen someone die so quickly from this disease. Normally they suffer for a long time. He did not. He and his wife loved each other so much. They were a real example of a loving relationship.

While leaving the hospital I ran into another church member. Her niece was on life support. She was only 28, mother of 2. She died this afternoon. The family is devastated. As one could imagine.

In both cases the doc's and nurses did every thing they could. It seems they pulled out all the stops and tried everything. But the effects of these diseases was too much.

What a day for these two families.

President Bush

As I listen to his final farewell address, I am proud that I supported President Bush. He is the kind of person I respect. I believe that history will come to his side. I have not always agreed with him, but through it all I respected him.

Good Luck Mr. President.

Good Read

Just finished a good book. It is called "The Tangible Kingdom: Creating Incarnational Community: The Posture and Practices of Ancient Church Now." It was written by Hugh Halter and Matt Smay.

I highly recommend this. They are pretty bold and brave guys who are church planters.

On to the next read.

Community

Today my son Sam and I went to a cub scout event at Tyler State Park. We had to learn to cook something outside. We were hosted by a group I had never heard of. It was called "The Lone Star Dutch Oven Society." I was a bit skeptical when I first heard of it. I never knew there was a whole society of "dutch oven" people.

I have seen dutch ovens used for years. Through my experience with scouting I have seen all kinds of things cooked in them.

But this was different. We arrived at the Tyler State Park. A large crowd of trucks, vans, RVs, 5th wheels all gathered in a circle. Out of the back of all these various vehicles every kind of out door kitchen you could imagine was set up. People of all ages were slicing and dicing and preparing food. They welcomed the cub scouts into their fold with open arms. The boys were divided up to watch and prepare a meal in a dutch oven. I have never seen so many different sizes of dutch ovens. I thought a dutch oven was a dutch oven.

The gentlemen that Sam was with was great. He was an older gentleman. He patiently and gently showed Sam how to prepare the cake that Sam was working on.

This scene was played out all around the camp. Not only were the cub scouts being helped, but all kids of other people were there who had never done this before were welcomed into the community. They showed them what they were doing. The let them participate in what they were doing. They gave them advice, tips and suggestions on how to get started. There were kids, teenagers and retired people were fellowshiping and having community. They welcomed people into their community and made them feel at home. There was no drinking, no smoking, no profanity nothing that detract. Those not involved in the cooking were walking dogs, riding bikes, walking or just chatting. There was even a central teaching area were the new folks were shown how to make their own dish. At 12:30 everyone brought what they had cooked, put it in a central area and everyone ate. You could sample from any dish that was prepared.

I have no idea the spiritual condition of the people that we met with. Maybe they were believers maybe they were not. Maybe some were and some were not.

Looking at this group I get a sense of maybe what the early church must have been like. People having real incarnational community. Sharing as they had. Helping others grow. Welcoming new people. Fellowshiping and doing community together.

If the early church was like this. Why cant the modern church be like this?

Bad News

I got a call this morning that was sad. The man that lead me to Christ, Pastor Perry Jones died yesterday. He had been in the hospital with a blood clot. He was expected to get better and go home but died suddenly.

When I was 16 years old I had a crush on a young lady named Amanda. It was the summer before I turned 17. She was beautiful, sweet and a christian girl. Being the Suave guy that I am I tried to make my move. But it did not work. She wrote me a letter explaining that she did not date non christian boys. She shared the gospel with me and wrote out a lot of verses. It honestly angered me. I could not understand why she would say that I was not a Christian. I went to church, I went to youth group I did church stuff. What more was involved?

I went to church that Sunday night with the letter and showed it to Perry. You see, Amanda was Perry's niece. My goal that hot summer night was to get Perry to straighten her out. He said we could talk after the service.

After the service we sat down on the back row of the church. Perry then opened up the word to me and it just clicked. I had heard this before many times but this time it just made sense. That being a christian, meant that I had to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and not just go to church and do church stuff. I prayed and asked Jesus into my heart. Perry baptised me that same night.

Perry pastored the same church in Elkhart for I guess 25-30 years. A small work there in my home town.

I would have loved to gone to the funeral or the visitation of the family. Ironically, I am now a pastor and had to go to a funeral visitation and preach a funeral at the same time as his. I think he would understand.

Perry was a rare breed. To pastor in a small town for years. To minister to multiple generations in the same place. To some he would not be "successful". He never had more than 150 in church. He did not have large crowds, flashy presentations, large budgets, multiple staff's, special effects, lights and 6 figure sounds systems.

But he was faithful. He faithfully with conviction shared the greatest story ever told. He faithfully shepherded the flock that God gave him. He faithfully ministered in a small town that time and progress seems to have forgotten.

Perry is now home. Perry's faith is now sight. Well done good and faithful servant.