Sign of Cohen

Sunday I went to the Tyler Art's museum. they had a display of Jewish art. On one was this display with a "Sign of Cohen" on it. It was 2 hands making this symbol. I don't know what it is. anyone have any ideas? I have tried to look on line and have not come up with anything. I cant even find a picture.

Blue Like Jazz

I blame it on Nathan Atkinson. I have seen the book in different peoples offices. I have heard of other people reading it. I have seen it in the book store. While on stay cation i was at Lifeway and picked up a copy and started reading it. Nathan had peaked my interest in it. I have been reading on it while I am off from work. (of course I am also reading a Tom Clancy book).

Reading about this guys journey is really interesting. The Pharisee in me wants to condemn him for thinking such thoughts. He should just convert and get it over with. But the more I ponder his journey and meet other people the more I open up to that people get to Jesus in different ways. I don't mean that there are many ways to God, I am not a pantheist. But reading about his honest struggles with faith it refreshing. I have struggled myself at times.

I have struggled wanting a more pious life. The clown in me does not help this. I have struggled with setting up rules for my self. (I have to read this much, pray this long, get up at 3 am and all that) I never keep any of them. I brake my own rules. Then I feel like a sucky christian.

At the end of chapter 7 (on grace - the beggars kingdom) is something that really knocked me over. I was sitting in the park watching my kids play when I read this. He says that our love for Jesus is not like Romeo and Juliet. Where they are each equally in love for each other. That it is move like Lucentio's pursuit of Bianca in the taming of the shrew. (yes I have seen the play and know the story. I am a red neck, but I am cultured...I know when to put my pinkie out :-). The groom is endearing the belligerent bride with kindness, patience, and love.

Jesus endears us with kindness, patience and love. We run and act like fools, we snub his advances. But like Bianca, we come around to loving him. (at least I have, and I fall more in love with Jesus every day)

Miller says that our behavior will not be changed long with self-discipline, but fall in love and a human will accomplish what he never thought possible. When we accept God's love for us, we fall in love with him, and only then do we have the fuel we need to obey.

He ends with this " in exchange for our humility and willingness to accept the charity of God, we are given a kingdom. And a beggar's kingdom is better than a proud man's delusion."

Thornton Wilder

I have read more about his play "The Angel That Troubled the Waters. It is based on John 5:1-4. His play talks about this doctor who suffers from depression and melancholy. He comes to the pool wanting to be healed of this. When the angel stirs the water, the doctor gets up to go and get in the pool only to be stopped by the angel. The doctor cries out begging to be allowed to be healed. The Angel insist that this healing is not for him.

The dialogue continues. the angel tells the doctor "Without your wounds where would your power be? It is your melancholy that makes your low voice tremble into the hearts of men and women. The very angels themselves cannot persuade the wretched and blundering children on earth as can on human being broken on the wheels of living. In Love's service, only wounded soldiers can serve! Physician, draw back."

The man who got into the pool and was healed goes and gets the Doctor. He ask him to come to his house to help him. He tells him that is son in lost in dark thoughts. The father does does not understand him and only the Doctor has been able to help him. He tells him that he has another child who needs his help. The help that only this wounded doctor can help.

I too have asked God to take away some things about me. Things that I used to think would hinder me as a pastor. That if anyone really ever knew "those" things about me, that I would not be respected as a pastor. I have even been told by some to never share those things.

But this play by Wilder has helped me understand that those things are a help and not a hindrance. I would love to not to have to deal with depression and anxiety. I would love to not to have to take medicine for it. I wish I never knew what addiction was like. But I do. I wish the cravings for a substance was not in my body. But it is. I have not given into it in years. I have not used that substance. But the thought is there. I have to do spiritual battle when I travel to certain places. I have to pray not to partake. By God's grace I have.

I wish that I did not have a financial debt that I can do nothing about, but I do. I guess because I do I can understand those who have struggled with financial trouble.

I used to think to be a pastor you had to "have it together." I looked forward to the class in seminary where they would take away all my trouble, sin, problems and I would have it together. It never happened. They never took it away.

I went in wounded and came out wounded. But I have learned that in loves service, only a wounded soldier can serve.