Adventures of the Red Neck Life

As you know I am the Outreach Pastor of my church. I work closely with our supported agencies locally and globally. I get invited to all sorts of stuff that they do. This week is a big week for one in particular. Last night was a "philanthropy" dinner. That is a big word for BIG MONEY folks. It is fancy word for big time fund raiser. This is past a spaghetti dinner and youth car wash.

It was at a really swanky place. One of these Greek Temple places with folks in uniforms running about. You know the kind of place where they don't serve anything super sized or with toys in the bag. In the parking lot are lots of hummers, bmw's, Mercedes and all kinds of really fancy cars. I eased my old 9 year old Nissan up next to a Benzo and parked it. I figured out real quick that I am out of my element. They are using real dishes for the food, and not paper plates.

Any who, I slide in the door and check in at the table. They hand me my "wine ticket". I give it back to her and said no thank you, I am a temperance man. You see they were offering that fancy wine. The kind that does not have a screw top lid or come in a box. I went up to the bar keep and asked for a glass of tea. In a very uppity voice he told me "sir, you will have to go to the tea service." I had this overwhelming urge to choke him down. I didn't. I did find the tea service. It was self serve, no uniformed person was their to hand it out. I even had to get up and get my own refill a couple of times.

Walking around the place you see these fancy picture taking people. They were the kind where you get your picture taken so you could be "spotted" or "be seen" in magazines that I don't look at. (they don't have pictures of guns and ammo) You know they did not stop me to get my picture. Maybe they thought I was a client of the agency we were their to raise $ for. (Could it have been the fact I was wearing sweat pants and a foot ball helmet and was running around asking for jello?) Just kidding.

I was seated with some nice folks. They were LOADED. Just thought I would mention that. Nice, but RICH. They were bidding on the silent auction. I wasn't. All I had in my pocket was a hot check and some food stamps and they were not taking those. They were the kind of folks who have nick names for the ladies and that is how they are introduced. You know, names like "bunny" "muffy" that sort of thing. Don't get me wrong, they were sweet people, but they don't hang out where I hang out. It was all I could do not to use my Thurston Howell voice.

At dinner they served some real pretty food. I did not care for it, but I ate it. Cuz the Bible said to eat what is set before you. After a couple of hours of this, I decided to slip on out the door and head on to the house.

Am I making fun? No, just offering the perspective of your average redneck theologian who does not get out much. Till next time......