Preaching

I got a call from a dear friend who invited me to fill his pulpit in a few weeks.

Over the last few weeks I have thinking and praying about preaching being used more in ministry.

This Sunday I am filling in for one of our Elder's Sunday school class.

I really feel called to work with a small church pastoring and preaching.

I don't know what this will look like totally but I am trusting God to see it through.

Stand with me and pray for His will.

Explicit Lyrics

The song lyrics below are from a song called "What It's Like" by Everlast. It was written by Erik Schrody. He also was with the band House of Pain. It is a rap / acoustic song.

The song has some curse words in it but at the same time it has a poignant message.

We tend to judge things by the surface. We look at what we can see and never get to the heart of a matter.

Growing up I was taught to never judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes. My grand mother showed me an article written in our home town's news paper called "a mile in my moccasins". The lesson stuck.

I need a reminder sometimes. Sometimes in life we do need to make quick decisions. But not all the time. We really need to get to know a person and how they got where they are. Why? We have to find common ground to build upon. Calling someone a "slob, sinner, killer, thug, loser" before we know how they got their is not helpful.

To lead them to the Cross we have to find the starting point. The woman caught in the act, was not condemned but forgiven by Jesus. Paul wrote to Philemon and appealed to him to free the slave. Jesus entered the home and touched the dead child.

We have to relate. We cant put up barriers and pre-conditions and expect results.

These lyrics tell the story. Yes there is "bad language" but look at the underlying message. See past the exterior and listen with your heart.

Think about them the next time you see the bum, pregnant girl, thug on the corner or who ever....there is an underlying story.

Just my rambling thoughts...


What It's Like...

We've all seen the man at the liquor store beggin' for your change
The hair on his face is dirty, dreadlocked and full of mange
He ask the man for what he could spare with shame in his eyes
Get a job you fuckin' slob's all he replied

[CHORUS]
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues
Then you really might know what it's like [x4]

Mary got pregnant from a kid named Tom who said he was in love
He said don't worry about a thing baby doll I'm the man you've been dreamin' of
But three months later he said he won't date her or return her call
And she sweared god damn if I find that man I'm cuttin' off his balls
And then she heads for the clinic and she gets some static walkin' through the doors
They call her a killer, and they call her a sinner, and they call her a whore

[CHORUS]
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to choose
Then you really might know what it's like [x4]
I've seen a rich man beg
I've seen a good man sin
I've seen a tough man cry
I've seen a loser win
And a sad man grin
I heard an honest man lie
I've seen the good side of bad
And the down side of up
And everything between
I licked the silver spoon
Drank from the golden cup
Smoked the finest green
I stroked the baddest dimes at least a couple of times
Before I broke their heart
You know where it ends
Yo, it usually depends on where you start

I knew this kid named Max
He used to get fat stacks out on the corner with drugs
He liked to hang out late at night
Liked to get shit faced
And keep pace with thugs
Until late one night there was a big gun fight
Max lost his head
He pulled out his chrome .45
Talked some shit
And wound up dead
Now his wife and his kids are caught in the midst of all of his pain
You know it crumbles that way
At least that's what they say when you play the game

[CHORUS]
God forbid you ever had to wake up to hear the news
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to lose
Then you really might know what it's like [x3]
To have to lose...

Well it has happened

I got a letter today from the Administrative Bishop of Texas. Since I am violating my "Ministerial Covenant" by not tithing at a church of God and attending the nearest Church of God..." he "must take action regarding the revocation of your ministry...."

I thought the wording was interesting.

I have met with the Sr. Pastor at Bethel. I am still credentialed with them.

I have not ill feelings towards the church of God. I hope that millions of souls are saved and churches are planted all over the world by the work they do.

I will continue to be obedient to what I believe God has called me to do.

Father I trust you. I surrender to your will.

The Wisdom of Tenderness

Brennan Manning is one of my favorite people. Like me he has struggled with some things. His cost him his priesthood. He was able to recover and continue serving God.

His book I am reading now is called the Wisdom of Tenderness. There is a quote in it that really blew me away.

"It's more important to be a mature Christian than to be a great butcher or baker or candlestick-maker; and if the only chance to achieve the first is to fail at the second, the failure will have proved worthwhile. Isn't failure worthwhile if it teaches us to be gentle with the failure of others, to be patient, to live in the wisdom of accepted tenderness, and to pass that tenderness on to others? If we're always successful, we may get so wrapped up in our own victories that we're insensitive to the anguish of others; we may fail to understand (or even try to understand) the human heart; we may think of success as our due. Then later, if our little world collapses through death or disaster, we have no inner resources."

Think on that a while.....

Flash Back

Got to hang out with some dear friends today. Bro Peterson who let me preach at his church when I was in Seminary and his wife Linda, daughter Kristi and her two girl Kimmer and Kinsey came over from Corsicanna. We hung out at Chik Fil A and visited for 3 hours or more. It was great.

We covered a world of topics. Shared memories and laughs. It was awesome.

God is so good that He allows good friends to fellowship and share. It is what the church should look like. Believers building each other up. Believers united by the Holy Spirit.

Stay close to your friends in the faith. Share time with each other with no agenda. No lights, sound, smoke machines, just life.

Raising its ugly head

Well,

My nemesis is back, or at least it reminded me it is there. My big two. I guess the stress and worry of dad and other things has stirred them up. I don't like seeing my daddy sick.

No, nothing has happened. I have not drank. I have not strayed. But the thoughts and temptations are there.

One way to explain it is to quote Jeff Foxworthy..."I want a beer, and I want to see something naked."

I have been reading more from Mother Theresa. I am reading about worshiping in silence and reflection. It helps.

Driving home today I listened to Jimmy Swaggart on a Palestine radio station. Hearing him sing and play helps.

I look forward to church tomorrow. It helps.

They Name is as ointment

Thy name is as ointment poured forth:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Thy name is as ointment poured forth,
Thy name is as ointment poured forth.

Therefore do the virgins love Thee:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Therefore do the virgins love Thee,
Therefore do the virgins love Thee.

Thy love is much better than wine:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Thy love is much better than wine,
Thy love is much better than wine.

Draw me, we will run after Thee:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Draw me, we will run after Thee,
Draw me, we will run after Thee.

Behold, Thou art fair, my Beloved:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Behold, Thou art fair, my Beloved,
Behold, Thou art fair, my Beloved.

I found Him whom my soul doth love:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
I found Him whom my soul doth love,
I found Him whom my soul doth love.

I held Him and would not let go:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
I held Him and would not let go,
I held Him and would not let go.

Make haste, my Beloved, to come:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Make haste, my Beloved, to come,
Make haste, my Beloved, to come.

We love Thee with all of our heart:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
We love Thee with all of our heart,
We love Thee with all of our heart.

Black Snake Moan

Yes I have seen the movie....a couple of times.....Why do I write about it?

Think of the character Lazarus. A black man in the south. Finds a half naked white girl dumped near his house. He picks her up and takes her inside. He cleans her up. Bandages her wounds. Goes and gets medicine for her. Watches over her for days. She continues to wonder off in a drug induced haze, so he chains her to the radiator. He learns more about her from different people. That she is a party girl, will sleep with anyone any where. During this Lazarus is reading his bible. The girl wakes up and wants to leave. He tells her that he is going to cure her of her wicked ways. Well lets say she is not to thrilled with the idea. Lazarus says over and over that is has made up his mind and will not be moved.

Here is a guy with every excuse not to get involved. Every reason to walk away. Trying to help someone who does not want it or appreciate it. She does everything to get away from him. But he has made up his mind....and he will not be moved.

It is easy to do good those who are like us. It is even easier when they appreciate it and say thank you.

But how hard do we work to do for those who will never appreciate it. Are we willing to risk our lives, our reputation, our appearance to our community and what "looks right."

What if the thing we see and are moved to get involved with "offends" those who pay the bills?

Willing to risk it?

My Sins, My Sins My Savior

What an Easter. My first in several years where I was not a pastor. Many emotions. While at Wal-mart today I pondered or more closely, was ambushed by my sinful nature. That thing that I so wanted to be gone from me. That thorn, that chain, that thing.....Actually there are two of them. One often used to mask or as an excuse for the other. Sometimes they work together. Sometimes they work alone. Sometimes one will disappear for a while and I think "finally, it is gone." But there it is.

The last several years in full time ministry I could not tell anyone about them. I had to pretend they are not there. Early on I tried to mention it as an aid to someone and was told to never tell anyone about it. You cant be in ministry if you have that thing. Even if you have this thing, tell no one. I have even asked other ministers about this. One even told me that if he knew that one of his staff had one of these problems he could not allow them to work as a minister. "It would just look bad" is what he said.

Any idea how lonely it can be to walk around day after day, year after year and not be able to openly ask someone to pray for you about your thing? (except my wife, who knows all and knows everything...thank God for her.)

The night before my final Sunday at Rose Heights I stayed up most the night reading the biography of Rich Mullins. What release he felt when he could admit publicly that he struggled with a specific sin. He feared rejection, and was by some. But most embraced him and loved him.

So what are my two things that I have following me around? Drinking and Lust. So before I explain, I have not taken a drink in almost 10 years. I have never cheated on my wife. I have not had an affair. I am not hooked on porn.

But often, like today, I have to pray though and fight lustful thoughts. They happen at the most inconvenient time. Often times I literally have to get up and leave where I am so I can pray that God will deliver me. I go and tell my wife, the only person I have been able to tell, that I am battling this thing called lust.

About the drinking? There are times when the craving and desire so over comes me I wind up in tears. I want to just simply get tore up. I want to get a 12 pack and drink every bit of it until I cant feel my face. It is really bad when you are out of town and "no one would know" and the stuff is all over the place.....Some times the battle leaves me bruised. By the Grace my God, I have not given in. But I must admit, it is not easy. I have been at weddings where there is drinking, I smell it and I want it. But I cant do it. I have had to get in the car and just leave.

Do I think drinking alcohol is wrong in and of it self? No. But for me it is. I know that if I go down that road, there is no good that can come from it. I know people that can have a beer or a margarita and that be it. Me? I want the whole pitcher. I want every drop I can get.

I know there will be repercussions from writing this. Some will use it as an excuse to reject me and write me off. I cant help that. But maybe this will help someone. I leave that to God.

Below is the words to an old him I sang to myself in Wal-mart today.

John S. B. Mon­sell, Hymns of Love and Praise, 1863.

My sins, my sins, my Savior!
They take such hold on me,
I am not able to look up,
Save only, Christ, on Thee;
In Thee is all forgiveness,
In Thee abundant grace,
My shadow and my sunshine
The brightness of Thy face.

My sins, my sins, my Savior!
How sad on Thee they fall;
Seen through Thy gentle patience,
I tenfold feel them all;
I know they are forgiven,
But still, their pain to me
Is all the grief and anguish
They laid, my Lord, on Thee.


My sins, my sins, my Savior!
Their guilt I never knew
Till with Thee in the desert
I near Thy passion drew;
Till with Thee in the garden
I heard Thy pleading prayer,
And saw the sweat-drops bloody
That told Thy sorrow there.

Therefore my songs, my Savior,
E’en in this time of woe,
Shall tell of all Thy goodness
To suff’ring man below;
Thy goodness and Thy favor,
Whose presence from above
Rejoice those hearts, my Savior,
That live in Thee and love.

Home Town Hero

I went to visit a hero today. He has pastored in my home town for I guess 30 years. He has worked bi-vocational for many years as a chaplain as well. He is in the hospital, but PTL he is going home today.

He is a faithful man. He has faithfully cared for the small flock that God has given him. The church he pastor's probably has never been over 100. Maybe higher. But he has cared for them. He has loved them, married them, buried them and gone through life with them as well.

Pray for him.

Waiting

I don't do well at this. I know patience is a fruit of the spirit. It is something I have had to always work on. If I have some thing to do, I do it. Maybe I am just OCD. I like to be busy, knowing what is expected and then do it. But sitting around waiting on someone else and not knowing what the outcome will be, well honestly it drives me nuts.

ARGH!!!!!!! God help me to not go nuts. Help me to display the fruit of the spirit. Real fruit that has taken time to grow and is plucked in the proper season.

BTW - the doves sang me to sleep last night. (Zephahiah 3:16-20)

On the Wings of a Dove

On the wings of a snow white Dove, God sends His pure sweet love, a sign from above,,,,on the wings of a dove.

TV Preachers

Maybe I am just jaded. I sometimes flip through TBN and INSP and these channels sort of tick me off. I think of all the money they fleece people for just so they can be on TV. How much can they really be accomplishing for the kingdom? All the money that is spent to have make up, costumes, lights, sound and just the air time.....Everyone is on the air begging for money.

It just makes me sick to see money wasted. These word of faith guys that get on the air and lie, and abuse the word of God just to get money. They don't care about the people. Having been around these "diva" types just makes me sick.

I know that God is not blind to this sort of thing. I know that God will judge in the end. I know they will answer in the end.

But I can not help but think of those who get missed. Of those who could have been reached. What could have been done for the kingdom with that money? Instead of buying airplanes, big cars, diamonds, fancy suits and all sorts of other junk, what if we put that money in the kingdom? What if we used that money to help the poor? What if we fed the hungry? What if we could build churches? What if we could help missionaries stay on the field and not have to spend their time raising money?

What if?

Something to Think About!

Do you wish to honour the body of Christ? Do not ignore Him when he is naked.

Do not pay Him homage in the temple clad in silk, only then to neglect Him outside where He is cold and ill-clad.

What good is it if the Eucharistic table is overloaded with golden chalices when your brother is dying of hunger?

Start by satisfying His hunger and then with what is left you may adorn the altar.

John of Chrysostom a.k.a. John of the Golden Mouth.

Your thoughts??

Three Simple Rules

I have been reading a lot about John Wesley since the fall. When I was in California I purchased a little book called Three Simple Rules: A Wesleyan Way of Living by Rueben P. Job.

It is very small but very profound.

Here are the three rules:

1. Do No Harm.
2. Do Good.
3. Stay in Love With God

In the back of the book is a prayer guide.

I am very challenged with this.

Book Report

I have been reading another great book. It is called Dirty Word - The Vulgar Offensive Language of the Kingdom of God - by Jim Walker.

This is one of those books that really kicks me around and makes me think. It makes me think about the way we do church and ministry. I like people that make me think.

In the book is a passage from a book by one of my hero's, Dietrich Bonhoeffer. In his book Life Together, he has a quote:

"God hates visionary dreaming; it makes the dreamer proud and pretentious. The man who fashions a visionary idea of community demands that it be realized by God, by others, and by himself. He enters the community of Christians with his demands, sets up his own laws, and judges the brethren and God Himself accordingly. He stands adamant, a living reproach to all others in the circle of brethren. He acts as if he is the creator of the Christian community, as if his dream binds men together. When things do not go his way, he calls the effort a failure. When his ideal picture is destroyed, he see the community going to smash. So he becomes first a rejecter of his brethren, then a rejecter of God, and finally the despairing rejecter of himself."

Walker uses this in talking about building community. He ask the question, "How do we conjure up authentic Christian community? We don't. Because frankly we cant. He says that it happens naturally. It happens when we are surrendered and humbled. Koinonia will take place naturally.

Challenging.

Poverty

I have been thinking over the words of Jason Upton in his song: Power in Poverty. They are so profound. I want to weep every time I think of them. We chase and chase big, shiny and new. We chase the cutting edge, but what about the poor. A Catholic Priest I heard once really challenged me to invest in the bellies of the poor. We need them. We can never end poverty. Therefore, we always have something to do.

Power in Poverty – Jason Upton

There's a power in poverty that breaks principalities
And brings the authority's down to their knees
There's a brewing frustration and ageless temptation
To fight for control by some manipulation

But the God of the kingdoms and the God of the Nations
The God of creation sends his revelation
Thru the homeless and penniless Jesus the son
The poor will inherit the Kingdom to come

Where will we turn when our world falls apart
And all of the treasures we've stored in our barns
Can't buy the Kingdom of God?

Who will we praise when we've praised all our lives
Men who build Kingdoms and men who build fame?
But heaven does not know their names?

What will we fear when all that remains
Is God on His throne, with a child in his arms, and love in his eyes
And the sound of his heart cries

What a Day

The last 24 hours has been odd. I was called to the hospital to be with a family. The husband had been diagnosed with an aggressive type of Leukemia. He had been fine, started feeling bad, went to the hospital and was admitted. He progressively got worse and worse. By 2 am, he was dead. I have never seen someone die so quickly from this disease. Normally they suffer for a long time. He did not. He and his wife loved each other so much. They were a real example of a loving relationship.

While leaving the hospital I ran into another church member. Her niece was on life support. She was only 28, mother of 2. She died this afternoon. The family is devastated. As one could imagine.

In both cases the doc's and nurses did every thing they could. It seems they pulled out all the stops and tried everything. But the effects of these diseases was too much.

What a day for these two families.

Good Read

Just finished a good book. It is called "The Tangible Kingdom: Creating Incarnational Community: The Posture and Practices of Ancient Church Now." It was written by Hugh Halter and Matt Smay.

I highly recommend this. They are pretty bold and brave guys who are church planters.

On to the next read.

Community

Today my son Sam and I went to a cub scout event at Tyler State Park. We had to learn to cook something outside. We were hosted by a group I had never heard of. It was called "The Lone Star Dutch Oven Society." I was a bit skeptical when I first heard of it. I never knew there was a whole society of "dutch oven" people.

I have seen dutch ovens used for years. Through my experience with scouting I have seen all kinds of things cooked in them.

But this was different. We arrived at the Tyler State Park. A large crowd of trucks, vans, RVs, 5th wheels all gathered in a circle. Out of the back of all these various vehicles every kind of out door kitchen you could imagine was set up. People of all ages were slicing and dicing and preparing food. They welcomed the cub scouts into their fold with open arms. The boys were divided up to watch and prepare a meal in a dutch oven. I have never seen so many different sizes of dutch ovens. I thought a dutch oven was a dutch oven.

The gentlemen that Sam was with was great. He was an older gentleman. He patiently and gently showed Sam how to prepare the cake that Sam was working on.

This scene was played out all around the camp. Not only were the cub scouts being helped, but all kids of other people were there who had never done this before were welcomed into the community. They showed them what they were doing. The let them participate in what they were doing. They gave them advice, tips and suggestions on how to get started. There were kids, teenagers and retired people were fellowshiping and having community. They welcomed people into their community and made them feel at home. There was no drinking, no smoking, no profanity nothing that detract. Those not involved in the cooking were walking dogs, riding bikes, walking or just chatting. There was even a central teaching area were the new folks were shown how to make their own dish. At 12:30 everyone brought what they had cooked, put it in a central area and everyone ate. You could sample from any dish that was prepared.

I have no idea the spiritual condition of the people that we met with. Maybe they were believers maybe they were not. Maybe some were and some were not.

Looking at this group I get a sense of maybe what the early church must have been like. People having real incarnational community. Sharing as they had. Helping others grow. Welcoming new people. Fellowshiping and doing community together.

If the early church was like this. Why cant the modern church be like this?