Preaching

I got a call from a dear friend who invited me to fill his pulpit in a few weeks.

Over the last few weeks I have thinking and praying about preaching being used more in ministry.

This Sunday I am filling in for one of our Elder's Sunday school class.

I really feel called to work with a small church pastoring and preaching.

I don't know what this will look like totally but I am trusting God to see it through.

Stand with me and pray for His will.

Explicit Lyrics

The song lyrics below are from a song called "What It's Like" by Everlast. It was written by Erik Schrody. He also was with the band House of Pain. It is a rap / acoustic song.

The song has some curse words in it but at the same time it has a poignant message.

We tend to judge things by the surface. We look at what we can see and never get to the heart of a matter.

Growing up I was taught to never judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes. My grand mother showed me an article written in our home town's news paper called "a mile in my moccasins". The lesson stuck.

I need a reminder sometimes. Sometimes in life we do need to make quick decisions. But not all the time. We really need to get to know a person and how they got where they are. Why? We have to find common ground to build upon. Calling someone a "slob, sinner, killer, thug, loser" before we know how they got their is not helpful.

To lead them to the Cross we have to find the starting point. The woman caught in the act, was not condemned but forgiven by Jesus. Paul wrote to Philemon and appealed to him to free the slave. Jesus entered the home and touched the dead child.

We have to relate. We cant put up barriers and pre-conditions and expect results.

These lyrics tell the story. Yes there is "bad language" but look at the underlying message. See past the exterior and listen with your heart.

Think about them the next time you see the bum, pregnant girl, thug on the corner or who ever....there is an underlying story.

Just my rambling thoughts...


What It's Like...

We've all seen the man at the liquor store beggin' for your change
The hair on his face is dirty, dreadlocked and full of mange
He ask the man for what he could spare with shame in his eyes
Get a job you fuckin' slob's all he replied

[CHORUS]
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues
Then you really might know what it's like [x4]

Mary got pregnant from a kid named Tom who said he was in love
He said don't worry about a thing baby doll I'm the man you've been dreamin' of
But three months later he said he won't date her or return her call
And she sweared god damn if I find that man I'm cuttin' off his balls
And then she heads for the clinic and she gets some static walkin' through the doors
They call her a killer, and they call her a sinner, and they call her a whore

[CHORUS]
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to choose
Then you really might know what it's like [x4]
I've seen a rich man beg
I've seen a good man sin
I've seen a tough man cry
I've seen a loser win
And a sad man grin
I heard an honest man lie
I've seen the good side of bad
And the down side of up
And everything between
I licked the silver spoon
Drank from the golden cup
Smoked the finest green
I stroked the baddest dimes at least a couple of times
Before I broke their heart
You know where it ends
Yo, it usually depends on where you start

I knew this kid named Max
He used to get fat stacks out on the corner with drugs
He liked to hang out late at night
Liked to get shit faced
And keep pace with thugs
Until late one night there was a big gun fight
Max lost his head
He pulled out his chrome .45
Talked some shit
And wound up dead
Now his wife and his kids are caught in the midst of all of his pain
You know it crumbles that way
At least that's what they say when you play the game

[CHORUS]
God forbid you ever had to wake up to hear the news
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to lose
Then you really might know what it's like [x3]
To have to lose...

Vanity

I love the song "Your So Vain" by Carly Simon...

The line about "clouds in the coffee" I thought she said "clowns in the copy"...

You walked into the party
Like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

You had me several years ago
When I was still quite naive
Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

Well, I hear you went up to Saratoga
And your horse naturally won
Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun
Well, you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not, you're with
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend
Wife of a close friend, and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you? Don't you?

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you

You're so vain (so vain)
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you? Don't you?

Maturity

This morning's message really got me thinking today....(Good job Pastor Ross)

Ross talked about growing in maturity. He talked about our growth in the Gospel. Our growth does not come from a check list or a "7 step secret"...do this and you will succeed.

For along time I heard a lot about doing the right things in the right formula and God must bless you or answer you....

But it is not about human effort. Does growth take work? Yes I believe it does. But it is not a simple check list that by human effort we achieve our sanctification. It is taking the time and wrestling with the deep things of God. Of knowing who we are and who He is. It is His Holy Spirit communing (back and forth) with our Spirit...(being born again, it is that same Spirit).

In that back and forth, we grow. We see things in the light of Christ. We see things in the mind of Christ. We see things past a mere conversion. We move to a place of a deeper understanding of Gospel.

The Gospel is not a state of salvation. It is the greatest story ever told. It is relationship between God and us. When He said the tabernacle of God is with men...his tent is right in the middle of our lives. His Kingdom is all around us.

Growing in God is bigger than learning moral teaching and completing a list.

What is it God wants to do in your life that you are resisting?

Ambushed

Have you ever wondered how and why God loves us?

Despite our dark sins, despite our feeble prayer life, our inconsistent discipleship, our what ever......

He loves us. He dares us to doubt the love he has for us.

Thank you that you love me. Thank you that you died for me. Thank you that despite my dark sin, my feeble prayer life, my inconsistent walk as a disciple and my discipleship....you love me.

Jesus, I love you. I am not lovable but I love you.

Blaise Paschal wrote..."God made man in His own image....and man returned the favor"

Let me never think lowly of you my God, my savior.

I am yours. I am a bruised reed that you will not break. I am a smoldering wick that you will not snuff out...

MLK

Today we celebrate a man who was cut down too soon. We take the day off. So many don't know what he did. So many don't know what he stood for.

As history goes on, fewer and fewer people will know all that he did and died for. It will be simply a few paragraphs in a history book. One of the first times I think i heard about Dr. King was in a U2 song on the Rattle and Hum album.

We need to tell the story. We are not too far from segregation. There are still reminders of it all over the place.

In the courthouse in the county I work it, if you go to the top floor near the library, if you look you can still read "white men restroom."

In my home town when I grew up there was "the campus." It was the black school until integration in 68 ( i think). It was still there as I grew up in the late 70's and 80's. We would pass by it and I remember it being pointed out as "the black school."

It is torn down now. I don't know if that is good or bad. Maybe we need reminders of the ignorance that divided our society. Maybe we don't. It is a fact of history. It is one thing to read about it in a history book, it is another to be able to walk up to it and touch it.

"early morning, April 4, shot rings out in the Memphis sky, free at last, they took your life, they could not take your pride......"

Doves - the return

This morning I started to get frustrated. I was looking through some things and some feelings of anger, resentment...etc...etc...

Out of no where The Doves that were such a blessing in mine and Liz's life return. They sat outside our window and sang to us.

God knows our need, before we need it. God knows how to reveal Himself to us in ways we will understand.

I have had some awesome encounters with God that I understood, though others may not. But I think God can and does reveal Himself in diverse ways so that we understand and will not miss the Message.

The Message of a Redeemer. A Message that He goes before us and is our rear guard. A Message that He owns the Cattle on a thousand hills.

Thank you El Shaddai....

Grand Torino

Today I had the day off and watched the movie Grand Torino.

As I watched the movie (which is Rated R) I began to draw a spiritual lesson from it. I did not start out my day to come up with a sermon illustration or devotion point....but there It was.

It is the story of an old soldier (Walt), who hates what his world has become. He is grumpy. He is a bigot. He is a widower. He is basically pissed at how things have become.

He is pursued by people who care for him before he cares for them. His priest goes after him non stop. His neighbors who are Hmongs go after him. They reach out to him to care for him. He does everything he can to offend his priest and his Hmong neighbors.

He sees his Hmong neighbors being hurt. Walt gets his rifle he carried in the Korean War and stands up for them. He begins to have a crack in that hard exterior and starts to care for them in his own way. As the story goes on his new found friends are hurt further. They are unable to stand up for them selves.

Walt decides he must stand in the gap for those who can not defend themselves. He goes to his priest who has never given up on him and seeks comfort. Walt then goes and gives his life to protect the weak.

St. James wrote that pure religion in the sight of God is to defend those who can not defend themselves (my paraphrase).

I think as Christ followers we have to be the people that pursue the Walt's in our lives. We also need to be the Walt's who lay down their lives to help those who can not help them selves.

Christmas

I love what Christmas means. The incarnation of God. The birth of Jesus. The God-Man prophesied about made real.

I hate the business, expense, non-sense, commercialism and greed.

This year I want to go to a Mid-Night Mass. I have never been to one, but I want to experience one.

Hold Me

Just when you think you have something beat. It comes back.

I hate myself sometimes. I hate that I struggle with lust and drinking. I hate that sometimes I want to get sloshed until I can not feel my face. I hate that I find myself lusting over women who are not my wife.

But they are still there. Today I went and played golf. I loved it. I was really craving a cold beer. I saw the beer cart start my way. The struggle in me began until I almost wanted to puke. All of a sudden she turned and went a different way. I was glad and mad at the same time.

As I was telling Liz latter of my failure and struggle she asked was it around 12:45? I told her yes. She said she got a message that she was being prayed for at that time. She told this friend she did not know if it what it was for. I began to weep.

God loves me. Also, God likes me.

God help me to stay pure and sober. Forgive me for my failures and short comings. Help me to remember that you love me furiously. Thank you for letting me run to you and be held.

I am tired

I have just about worked in to a frazzle. I am tired and exhausted to the point where I forget things.

I have to find the balance of when to stop and when to keep going.

I love what I do.

I got to eat lunch with a pastor friend today who is a wonderful man. He inspires me to be a better person. (Thank you James)

As I sit here rambling on I am listening to Brennan Manning. I love his guy. He has help me to learn that not only does God Love me, he actually likes me.

Short note - but wanted to put it down.

Reflection

Brennan Manning has a way to make me look at myself and my walk. Brennan Manning tried all sorts of things to try and make God Love him. He finally discovered that God has a furious love for him, they way he was.

I am learning that lesson. I am learning that Abba is mine, and I am His. I belong to Abba. He desires me.

I have thought of going and doing for God, to have God love me more....but I dont have to do those things. God loves me like I am. He loves me with my scars, imperfections, weaknesses and sins.

I belong to Abba, He loves me.

I have returned

I have been asked about blogging again.

I had given it up for a while after I got in a bit of trouble. No I will not write on here what it was. Just know that what I did will not happen again.

The last couple of days have been really cool. I got to have lunch with two couples from Rose Heights. They are dear friends who have always been special to Liz and I. I told them that being around them makes me miss pastoring.

I do want to pastor again as I have said. I still have a vision of working with a small rural church in a bi-vocational setting. Will see how that works out. I will leave it to God.

Today in my Sunday school class our Executive Pastor Fritz Hager came by...no pressure. I got to talk to him a few minutes. Seems like a very cool guy. He is a West Point Grad. I need to swap book stories with him. He has done and lived things I have only read about.

Well off to bed. I am finishing a book by Nelson Demille then I have a new (new to me) book by Brennan Manning I am going to read.

Well it has happened

I got a letter today from the Administrative Bishop of Texas. Since I am violating my "Ministerial Covenant" by not tithing at a church of God and attending the nearest Church of God..." he "must take action regarding the revocation of your ministry...."

I thought the wording was interesting.

I have met with the Sr. Pastor at Bethel. I am still credentialed with them.

I have not ill feelings towards the church of God. I hope that millions of souls are saved and churches are planted all over the world by the work they do.

I will continue to be obedient to what I believe God has called me to do.

Father I trust you. I surrender to your will.

The Wisdom of Tenderness

Brennan Manning is one of my favorite people. Like me he has struggled with some things. His cost him his priesthood. He was able to recover and continue serving God.

His book I am reading now is called the Wisdom of Tenderness. There is a quote in it that really blew me away.

"It's more important to be a mature Christian than to be a great butcher or baker or candlestick-maker; and if the only chance to achieve the first is to fail at the second, the failure will have proved worthwhile. Isn't failure worthwhile if it teaches us to be gentle with the failure of others, to be patient, to live in the wisdom of accepted tenderness, and to pass that tenderness on to others? If we're always successful, we may get so wrapped up in our own victories that we're insensitive to the anguish of others; we may fail to understand (or even try to understand) the human heart; we may think of success as our due. Then later, if our little world collapses through death or disaster, we have no inner resources."

Think on that a while.....

Flash Back

Got to hang out with some dear friends today. Bro Peterson who let me preach at his church when I was in Seminary and his wife Linda, daughter Kristi and her two girl Kimmer and Kinsey came over from Corsicanna. We hung out at Chik Fil A and visited for 3 hours or more. It was great.

We covered a world of topics. Shared memories and laughs. It was awesome.

God is so good that He allows good friends to fellowship and share. It is what the church should look like. Believers building each other up. Believers united by the Holy Spirit.

Stay close to your friends in the faith. Share time with each other with no agenda. No lights, sound, smoke machines, just life.

Raising its ugly head

Well,

My nemesis is back, or at least it reminded me it is there. My big two. I guess the stress and worry of dad and other things has stirred them up. I don't like seeing my daddy sick.

No, nothing has happened. I have not drank. I have not strayed. But the thoughts and temptations are there.

One way to explain it is to quote Jeff Foxworthy..."I want a beer, and I want to see something naked."

I have been reading more from Mother Theresa. I am reading about worshiping in silence and reflection. It helps.

Driving home today I listened to Jimmy Swaggart on a Palestine radio station. Hearing him sing and play helps.

I look forward to church tomorrow. It helps.

They Name is as ointment

Thy name is as ointment poured forth:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Thy name is as ointment poured forth,
Thy name is as ointment poured forth.

Therefore do the virgins love Thee:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Therefore do the virgins love Thee,
Therefore do the virgins love Thee.

Thy love is much better than wine:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Thy love is much better than wine,
Thy love is much better than wine.

Draw me, we will run after Thee:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Draw me, we will run after Thee,
Draw me, we will run after Thee.

Behold, Thou art fair, my Beloved:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Behold, Thou art fair, my Beloved,
Behold, Thou art fair, my Beloved.

I found Him whom my soul doth love:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
I found Him whom my soul doth love,
I found Him whom my soul doth love.

I held Him and would not let go:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
I held Him and would not let go,
I held Him and would not let go.

Make haste, my Beloved, to come:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Make haste, my Beloved, to come,
Make haste, my Beloved, to come.

We love Thee with all of our heart:
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
We love Thee with all of our heart,
We love Thee with all of our heart.

Black Snake Moan

Yes I have seen the movie....a couple of times.....Why do I write about it?

Think of the character Lazarus. A black man in the south. Finds a half naked white girl dumped near his house. He picks her up and takes her inside. He cleans her up. Bandages her wounds. Goes and gets medicine for her. Watches over her for days. She continues to wonder off in a drug induced haze, so he chains her to the radiator. He learns more about her from different people. That she is a party girl, will sleep with anyone any where. During this Lazarus is reading his bible. The girl wakes up and wants to leave. He tells her that he is going to cure her of her wicked ways. Well lets say she is not to thrilled with the idea. Lazarus says over and over that is has made up his mind and will not be moved.

Here is a guy with every excuse not to get involved. Every reason to walk away. Trying to help someone who does not want it or appreciate it. She does everything to get away from him. But he has made up his mind....and he will not be moved.

It is easy to do good those who are like us. It is even easier when they appreciate it and say thank you.

But how hard do we work to do for those who will never appreciate it. Are we willing to risk our lives, our reputation, our appearance to our community and what "looks right."

What if the thing we see and are moved to get involved with "offends" those who pay the bills?

Willing to risk it?

Dad

My dad has another health thing going on. He has been going to an oncologist. They have done a biopsy of his bones and his marrow to test for cancer. He is over producing iron or something and they are having to "bleed" him every week. I did not know they still did this sort of thing. Sounds like something out of Dr. Quin Medicine Woman.

Another scary chapter.